Week 4 Story: We Will Be Fine.
Rama, Sita and the golden Deer (Source: Flickr)
Crushed, heartbroken, hurt. I was lying there in the forest, tears streaming down my face as I was sniffing. How could he? How could he abandon me? Does he not love me anymore? I don’t understand? Why? Just why? Was I not enough? Did he meet someone else when I was away? Is she prettier than me? Is she a better person? Is she good enough for him? I thought I was the only one. I know we were not perfect, but we deeply loved each other; it was enough for us. Did I imagine our love? Is it because I was abducted? Is it my fault? Was he ashamed of me? I shouted with all my might an inaudible sound.
I’m so overwhelmed: I don’t know what to feel? Should I feel depressed because he abandons me in this forest? Or should I be enraged because of it? I just don’t know. I swiped the tears left on my cheeks. I love him to the moon and back. I love you like my body loves oxygen. I need him like a heart needs a beat. If I know what love is, it is because of him. He was my other half, my euphoria. I wanna be with him and lay beside him right now. I’m cold and alone. If I could turn back time, I would not cross the line his brother drawn and ignore the beggar. It’s my fault. It is because of me that I’m lying here in this forest alone and in the dark.
No, that’s not right; how could he dump me without an explication? I hate him. I want him to suffer. I want him to feel what I’m feeling but worse. I’m strong. I’ll overcome this. I’ll forget him. Don’t worry, my loves, Mom, will be alright. I stroke my belly. It will take time, but I’ll be fine; we will be fine. I collect the little strength in me to stand up and walked towards the unknown. We will be fine, I feel it.
Author’s note: I thought writing what Sita would possibly think and feel when Lakshmana leaves her in the forest following Rama’s request. I just could not believe Rama decided to dump her just because of other people's gossips/thoughts. I wanted to do, in a way, justice to Sita.
Bibliography: Tiny Tales from the Ramayana by Laura Gibbs
“If I know what love is, it is because of him.” – Hermann Hesse
Hi Melanie! Wow, this is such a dramatic story. I think it was terrible of Rama to abandon Sita like that, so I am glad you are allowing her to express her feelings here. Your use of rhetorical questions is an interesting technique; it reads almost like a Shakespearian monologue to me. It would be cool for you to expand on this internal dialogue for other characters in the Ramayana or continuing on with Sita for future stories!
ReplyDeleteMelanie, I just loved the dramatic ending of the story! It really reflects the thought of someone who is debating within their mind if they should be sad or angry at the situation – you portrayed it very well! I wonder why Rama had Sita prove her innocence and purity many times, as if their love for each other was not enough? I wonder why he trusted the gossip of others and not the trust he had for his wife. I think something that would make this more dramatic is some dialogue between Lakshmana and her before he left her in the forest alone. While reading your story I was able to well capture the scene of Lakshmana leaving her in the forest after Rama had decided that he never wanted to see Sita again. Even after she proved her innocence of jumping into the fire, he was drawn by the talk of the town. This was very creative!
ReplyDeleteHey Melanie! I REALLY liked the intro to your story. When I was looking through the blogs to comment on, I was immediately drawn to your story just because of how it started. Awesome job! I also really liked your decision to explore Sita's reaction more. I thought that your story demonstrated nice character development in such a short time. I thought your initial use of questions was effective in drawing in the audience, but I wonder if the story might read better/have more "line" if you replaced some of the questions in the second and third paragraphs with statements. I don't think that would change the tone of the story too much, but might mix things up a bit. I also thought that it might be good to add in a couple of sentences giving a little bit more backstory into Sita's situation, just for people who might be less familiar with the Ramayana.
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